This week I am focusing on purity issues in our marriage as a tribute to the purity sermon that I’m preaching at youth.
One of the areas that Mark and I are diligent to remain pure is our thought life. What a tough one! Actions are easy to guage, but how do you control the millions of thoughts that you have every day? Each one of them must come under the authority of Christ. For example, when a woman walks by my husband, he is accountable to the thoughts that he has (and vice versa)…
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
That is a tough standard to live by, but as Mark has preached, you can’t let your thoughts guide your decisions. You’ve got to DECIDE how and what you will think on.
Here’s some tips that I use personally:
1. Don’t go there. I do my best not to ever put a foot in the door of my thought life. If the door to an inappropriate thought even cracks, I close that door quickly. Dwelling on the “what if’s” and allowing an option in my heart does me no good. I have resolved that Mark will be my husband until the day one of us dies, so there’s no point in having any other thoughts in my heart. They aren’t fulfilling a void, but rather creating one.
2. “De-romanticize” those thoughts. Marriage is no fairy tale or romance novel. There is no sweeping off the feet and perfect passion in the real world. The ugly part of the story is morning breath, dirty socks, screaming children, and pre-coffee grumpiness…just like you have in your current marriage. So, when your mind wants to imagine a different life with different circumstances, remind yourself of the things in your reality that are wonderful. Think on those things and stay focused on the covenant that you have made with your spouse.
Again, purity is 100% up to you, so my little tips are irrelevant if you don’t intend to fight for yourself. All of this has to come AFTER a resolve to stay pure.