Parenting has been an education, to say the least. With both of my girls, reading has been a problem…or at least I thought reading was the problem.
When Delaney was in Kindergarten, she wound up in the lowest reading group…with the kids who were learning English…not a good sign. Honestly, I thought she was just easily distracted. When she was spoken to, it often seemed like she was off in some other universe. I thought maybe I had a day dreamer on my hands, and because she wasn’t paying attention in school, reading was going by the wayside. And then we got her hearing test. My “distracted” daughter could barely hear and classroom settings were the worst learning environment for her. Thankfully, a very easy surgery cleared the blockages and she went from no hearing to complete hearing in the space of 15 minutes. Reading became her best subject and now she is way above grade level.
Then came Kennedy. Kindergarten was a nightmare in the reading department. She knew her letters, she knew the sounds, but when we sat down with those Read Well books, she was a mess and couldn’t stay focused. One word would take her 5 minutes to get out. So, I did what any good parent would do and I punished her for not taking her reading time seriously. And then we got her eyes checked. With short distances, she needs a very strong perscription. What she was learning from the board at school was sticking, but up close, she was floundering. Her glasses will arrive on Monday and I have no doubt that everything will change from that point forward.
Here’s the bottom line. What I thought was the problem in both cases, was not the problem. No matter how hard I pushed to solve the reading issue, it wasn’t going to be solved until I fixed the hearing and seeing issues. Don’t we often go through life like that?
Perceived problem: “My job doesn’t pay me enough!” Real problem: “My finances are a distaster because of overspending and debt.”
Perceived problem: “My parents don’t understand me!” Real problem: “I’m communicating with an attitude and they can’t hear me over my inappropriate comments.”
Perceived problem: “My husband is just not as good as their husband.” Real problem: “The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where it’s watered.”
Perceived problem: “I deserve something I’m not getting from someone.” Real problem: “I have entitlement issues and my source is not appropriately found in Christ.”
I can almost hear the “BUT…..” coming from your computer. That’s fine, I know it’s not always easy to put a finger on the real problem and sometimes we go the wrong direction for a while in order to get to the right solution. That being said, answer three questions for yourself today:
What is my biggest problem?
What might be the real reason behind my biggest problem? (Not the one you have been trying to solve, but the REAL problem!)
What would I have to do to solve the real problem?
You might just find the success you have been searching for if you get to the bottom of the mystery and face the reality that you’ve been unable to see. Good luck!