I love other pastor’s blogs. I learn a lot from their thoughts and words. Pastors are wildly different from one another, but very often, there is a vain in all of us that is quite the same. Sometime their words capture my heart or thoughts better than I could. In college I was in a drama team with my friend, Jeremy Johnson. He was a quality person back in college and is now a travelling speaker helping people know more about Jesus. I read his blog today and thought I would share it with you because I liked it. Hope it resonates with something in you as well.
Self Reflection from Jeremy Johnson
I’ve had the opportunity to do a lot of self-reflection in the last couple months. In talking with some key mentors, wise bystanders and sitting in empty rooms, I’ve learned a few things about myself. This is probably not new to some of you – as you’ve interacted with me – but some things I’m acknowledging about my life that I’d like to change.
Observation #1 – I’m a people pleaser.
I would never call it a sin. Usually attach a cool name to it like “caring”, “nice”, “peace maker”. But that is only true when my motive is pure. And too many times I please people when on the inside I am mad, bitter, irritated, selfish, afraid, weak.
This is not effective. It’s deceptive, weak and selfish. This trait is not invited into my next season of life.
Observation #2 – I’m a better daddy than I am a husband.
Not my goal. Maybe it’s because my kids aren’t my peers and I don’t feel intimidated. They are young enough to think I’m a hero – and I revel in that? My wife is a champion. She deserves my very best attention and affection.
This is not acceptable. I will line up my daily actions with my heart. I won’t assume Leanne knows what I feel about her – but I will model it daily.
Observation #3 – I seek preparation instead of presence.
I am at my best when I have spent time with God. Not for study. Not for message prep. But for relationship. It’s His presence that gives me life. I have at times slipped into preparing and calling it good. Weak sauce. I don’t need to be polished. I need to be broken, authentic and raw.
I will not go from this place without your presence. Your presence will distinguish me. Lack of your presence will extinguish me.
So pretty much I’m a knucklehead who does love God with all my guts. I want to always reflect, identify, grow and influence. I am committed to the journey, pretty stoked about grace, and gripped with urgency for this next season.